breastfeeding

classy intimation of breastfeeding. don't know where i got this but i wish i could say it's me and bebe.

i am not really sure what this blog is about except that it's my life. so i was thinking there is not much cohesion but screw it, i as a person am all over the place sometimes too.

nursing. nursing is not exactly how i thought it would be. while you are pregnant you imagine someone sucking so hard on your breast that they can get milk out. and you imagine it must really hurt. well it does-- at first. for me and most people i think. it took probably 3 weeks of nursing before it stopped hurting. that is a long period of nursing in pain. they eat every 2-3 hours at first. and by 2-3 i mean one. the time goes like this: start nursing at one. finish around 1:45. two hours later is from the time you started, so 3. and your boobs are in pain! the lanolin really really helps but it's surprising the pain. it subsides but you still get sore every once in a while. it's also hard to figure out the way you want to hold your baby. i can do it walking around now but at first i needed pillows and props and people to help. crazy to think back to that.

a non parent friend of mine asked me about people who start breastfeeding and stop before they had planned to stop. she wondered why this is so common. it got me thinking about why. i think that unless you are really very set on this path, it's easy to stop. you have this person almost clawing at you every few hours all day. it IS a bonding experience but it's also a little overwhelming depending on your mood. henry was a quiet eater until he got a little older. now in addition to eating he scratches me and kicks me and sometimes gives me a little nice tickle. mostly he pulls my hair and hits me. i am sure he means it all in the nicest way but it's a lot. it gets tough sometimes to deal with it. especially if you are sleep deprived. there are lovely times when he looks up at me and smiles and laughs and makes cute noises too.

and then there is the whole public issue. it took me a month or so but now i basically whip it out wherever. california law says i can. i think i am pretty classy about it. most people think he is sleeping i think. but it is hard on some people. for them, it's easier to put a bottle together. it's powder and you just need a bottle and some bottled water. (i am a little weirded out by the ingredients in formula so i think i had a good motivation to keep going no matter what the discomfort. corn syrup?)

and honestly speaking of time and ease. breastfeeding releases hormones in both mom and baby that make us sleepy. sometimes at home i lie there for a while and let him play even though i know he's done. i feel a little drugged. (sometimes i nurse lying down.) it's so nice and snuggly! unless he is in a crazy mood then it's just kind of funny. he will get up on all fours if he's energetic.

i think it has helped me lose weight. he's 7.5 months and i am probably 5 pounds away from where i began. a different shape mind you but weight wise i am close. every time he goes thru a growth spurt i lose a little more. it's nice. i kinda thought i would be really skinny, it's amazing how much he must take from me. but almost back to normal is not bad. my arms are pretty buff from lifting the 20 lbs a million times a day too. but that's a whole nother fitness regime i guess.