i had a boyfriend that i lived with who went on vacation by himself because i didn't have enough money to go too. i had a boyfriend who loved booze much more than he loved me. i had a boyfriend who didn't care enough to practice safe sex when i requested that. i had a boyfriend who cheated and i took him back. i had a boyfriend who moved on and i pined and pined after him. i have a few friends whose boyfriends hit on me and they blamed me. ( i swear i am not one of THOSE women). i have a friend whose boyfriend flew a hooker into his vacation spot when she couldn't come. what the f? what self respecting woman would put up with any of that? i could go on too. but i won't it's too sad. i have a hard enough time listening to my friends justify their loser guy's behavior.
so i had a theory. that a dad's presence and love could make a girl confident enough to say "ok he just isn't that into me" (to borrow a phrase) and move on. a girl who had the love and attention of her number one guy- dad- could tell the difference between love and like and lust. and not stand for poor treatment. know that when a guy stops calling or treats you disrespectfully that you must move on. i even told michael there was no way in hell we would ever split up if we had a girl, he was so stuck with me. not that i ever want to split up with him but you know.
not that my dad is not around. he always was. but my parents divorced and there was a lot less daughter dad time than there could have been. and a lot of my friends have this in common.
but my friend recently gave me an example of a woman we know who stands for terrible treatment and who has a dad who was around. i wonder if this is the total story, i don't know her that well. regardless. if i have to listen to one more story of a woman dealing with this crap i don't know what i will do. i do have many friends with fantastic partners don't get me wrong. they are all around. but i wonder if these fine kind men were always so. were they a little more cavalier with women's feelings when they were young maybe having fun in college?
which brings me to my role. i have a baby! i can raise him to be kind and respectful to women. of course, i don't want him to be a wimp. but i hope that besides being polite and kind that he will not use women or lead them on in any way. like have a chick that he just sleeps with and won't hang out with during the day. i am going to make this a priority. so that i do my part to rid the world of these sad sad stories. i would love to raise a strong confident woman too. we'll see.